You have a negativity bias. You were born this way.
Thousands of years ago, humans learned that worrying over the potential tiger attack was better than living life as if no tiger was ever going to strike. The carefree, non-tiger-fearing folk were easy prey while our ancestors who worried survived. Searching for safety and avoiding tiger attacks thousands of years ago left us with a strong negativity bias. Luckily for those of us in the Nonahood, tiger attacks are highly unlikely; however, our old or reptilian brain responds to any sign of threat as if it were a tiger attacking.
We microdose stress all day long.
In addition, our brain is our learning organ, and parts of it work much like a muscle. You strengthen it by what you repeatedly do. Likewise, if you don’t use it, you lose it.
When we practice stress daily, we strengthen the ability to become stressed easily. When we allow our reptilian brain to simply take over, we react to our daily situations with stress and worry. But you are more than your reptilian brain.
You can strengthen joy and calm in the same way you have strengthened fear and worry.
Rick Hansen, author of Hardwiring Happiness, explains how bringing awareness and savoring beneficial moments allow us to strengthen joy and calm in our life. There are various kinds of beneficial moments.
A year and a half ago, I was lucky to go to Hawaii with my family. We sat on the balcony every evening and listened to the waves while we watched the sunset. I don’t know when we will be able to go back to Hawaii, but I hold the memory dear in my heart. To me, this was a level 10 experience.
Level 10 experiences are usually the big moments. Level 10 experiences are wonderful but hard to come by. Instead, Hansen suggests paying extra attention to level 1 or 2 experiences. These are the beneficial moments that happen daily. Savoring these smaller moments gives us the opportunity to add a teaspoon of happiness every day.
Teaspoon by teaspoon, you strengthen your joy and calm. With daily practice, you begin to notice more of the readily-available level 1 or 2 experiences. This is an easy practice that can be done daily without any change in your lifestyle, and it only takes one second to do.
Hansen uses the acronym HEAL for this practice.
H: Have a beneficial experience.
E: Enrich the experience.
A: Absorb and become more receptive to the experience.
L: Link your positive experience with an old, negative one (optional).
It only consists of three steps:
- Bring awareness to a positive experience.
- Allow all your senses to fully experience the moment.
- Mentally categorize it as a good moment.
This takes ONE SECOND. Our mind is busy wondering what to worry about next, but if we take one second daily, it reminds us of the good that is already there.
Think of your daily actions. Think of the moments that are good. Sometimes, finding these moments is difficult because we are not used to looking for them. For me, drinking coffee in the morning is a level 2 experience. I love the smell and warmth of the mug; I even enjoy looking at my favorite mugs while holding my coffee. I have one that says “Namaste in Bed,” and it makes me chuckle a little. This may sound trivial, but life is full of trivial moments.
It is in these missed moments that we can strengthen our sense of joy and calm. It is in these oftentimes lost opportunities that we remind ourselves of all the good already present.
There are 86,400 seconds in one day. Take just ONE second and savor the good.
