Confession: I am a recovering perfectionist. While many people live in the land of “good enough,” I’ve lived most of my life in the shadow of “not just right.” With time and awareness, I’ve learned to be proud of having high standards but come to terms with the fact that making mistakes is part of being human.
Throughout my life, I have seen how the need for things to be perfect has kept me from taking risks, trying new things, starting or finishing projects, or appreciating beauty unfolding before me. I’ve often fallen into the trap of beating myself up too frequently or feeling constantly disappointed.
As a perfectionist, I find myself constantly trying to make things “ideal.“ But, is that ever truly achievable? When adopting this point of view, it fuels the inability to act because, in truth, things, people and situations are never perfect. Instead of allowing me to take action right here, right now, perfectionism shifts my focus to a future that can, truthfully, never be obtained. The result is that positively efficient and creative actions that could be taken are overlooked in favor of placing attention on a future that can never actually come true. While it is healthy to strive for excellence, perfectionism can actually hold us back.
When being a perfectionist is at the core of who you are, it’s not easy to break free from the knee-jerk reaction to overthink and judge. Without a doubt, I can safely say that mindfulness has helped me to make a necessary shift in my attitude and outlook. There is absolutely nothing wrong with striving to be the best you can be. However, in order to do and be our best, we must understand that being human and achieving perfection are just not compatible. As humans, we are not perfect. Overcoming perfectionism must include accepting this reality.
The beauty of mindfulness practices is that they allow us to observe ourselves, our thoughts, and our reactions. While perfectionism tends to cause a high level of analysis and judgment, mindfulness helps us to become more non-judgmental, both about ourselves and the circumstances that life presents us. With care and patience, I can now recognize when my mind is attempting to control things that are out of my control or trying to focus on minuscule flaws rather than big wins.
Being mindful can help us recognize when we are stuck in the cycle of “trying to be perfect.” By observing this pattern, we can detach from that unachievable goal. Instead, we can focus our efforts on understanding actual needs and becoming better able to meet them. We become better suited to navigate life’s never-ending curveballs and are better prepared to meet challenges, as opposed to getting stuck on things not being as flawless as we would like them. Practicing mindfulness can help us settle into the unknown and let go of the need for perfection.
If you are anything like me, you might want to start working toward being comfortable with less-than-perfect. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t always work toward doing your best – less-than-perfect and excellence can harmoniously exist. Focus on doing the best work that you can do and being the best self that you can be. But, at the same time, recognize and make peace with the fact that you are human, and just by the nature of your humanity, you have absolutely zero chance of being perfect.
Life is beautifully unpredictable and ever-changing. Perfection is just completely unachievable. It is actually how we learn to accept this truth that determines our well-being and daily experiences. Today, I choose to focus on what is right, what is good, and what is joy just as it is: perfectly imperfect.
