Imagine walking into a room where a large party was happening. Only this party has small clusters of people surrounding one person who was screaming a statement or showing a photo. These clusters of people are liking the statement or photo, others are making their comments, and some random robot keeps shouting a website name. This is my personification of social media.

In January of this year, I decided to stop using the social media platforms I was checking daily, Instagram and Facebook; in essence, I left the party without saying goodbye. The decision came after I would sit and say I was going to “scroll” for five minutes, and then I’d find myself spending hours watching Instagram reels.

Social media has many benefits. It connects people and provides free or inexpensive marketing for businesses. It lets you know when there is a lost dog and when the next festival is happening. It’s also a great place to see far-away friends and catch up. I could sit on my phone and feel the joy of a loved one who went on vacation or reached a milestone. I would also feel upset when I would hear someone was wronged or when a virtual voice was misunderstood. I found myself emotionally invested wherever I was because of social media. 

I realized I was wasting emotional energy and a significant amount of time. I wanted a piece of freedom from the news cycle and other people’s opinions. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could stop a behavior I very much enjoyed and that I was in control.

Although I never fully deleted my accounts, I deleted the apps from my phone. Taking this step was exhilarating and made “scrolling” difficult. Scrolling had become a habit, mindlessly picking up my phone and checking in. In Atomic Habits, James Clear explains how to swap a habit for another and make the undesired habit “hard to achieve.” I replaced the habit of scrolling with a digital book. I then became extra mindful of the times I was tempted to scroll social media. I would read.

At first, I felt disconnected. Events would pass, and I had no idea about them or would happen upon them wondering how everyone knew. Small businesses were difficult to get in contact with as they’re mostly on social media. I even lost touch with people I felt connected to because of social media.

As time passed however, I became elated to catch up with someone and see them face-to-face. I was genuinely intrigued to hear what they had been up to and happy that I wasn’t asking about something I had already seen. “You went to SPAIN?!” I had no idea a good friend had been in Spain. But hearing her tell me about it, I could feel excited and engaged without “pre-living” the emotions on my couch through my phone.

The main benefit I have found is time and focus. I didn’t realize I had lost the ability to plan, execute and dream for myself. I had so many other voices in my head that I had lost my own. 

I am now at a precipice, about to start a virtual yoga space as well as a woman’s workshop. The time off social media has given me the ability to plan; however, I know I must return to social media to promote my business. It feels as though social media has become a necessity.

Moving forward, my goal is to return mindfully and share valuable content. I will create some discipline and structure to the time I spend on social media. I will also be aware when my emotions attach to photos and comments.

How do you spend your time with social media? Do you have a healthy relationship? Does it affect you emotionally? How focused do you currently feel?

Although I am a study of ONE, I encourage you to attempt a social media fast. Try it for a day or maybe even a week. Don’t do it while you’re on vacation. Do it while you are living your normal life. Prep yourself with something to do when you normally “scroll.” Check in with yourself and see if you notice a difference leaving the party.