Over 22 years ago, the most amazing and rewarding moment in my life took place…I became a DAD! I am still wrapping my mind around the fact that the first of my three children just graduated from college and is now married. I remember hearing people say, “Enjoy them while they’re little because they grow up so fast.” Now I know why people make that statement because our kids really do grow up fast.
One of the things I remember doing with all three of my children when they were infants was holding them in my arms at night. As I sat rocking them, I would just stare at them. As I observed all of their little features, I would think to myself, “I wonder what they are going to look like when they get older? I wonder what kind of personality they’re going to have? I wonder what they’ll end up doing with their lives?”
Even though we can’t control the outcome, we can help influence them in a positive, life-giving way to help set them up for success. “The single most important influence in a child’s life is not their peers, it’s their parents.”
With June being a month that recognizes and celebrates fathers, I want to share a question with every dad that can be a game-changer in how we influence our children in a positive way.
What Would a Great Father Do?
There are endless situations and circumstances that require fathers to leverage their influence on their child’s life. Asking the question, “What would a great father do?” causes a father to think through the best way to give guidance and support to his children they so desperately need, regardless of their age. As a father ponders this all-important question, here are three ways that question can be applied in the form of a simple acrostic that spells D.A.D.
D – Direction. What would a great father do to give direction to his child?
The two most important days of our lives are the day we were born and the day we discovered why. As fathers, one of the greatest responsibilities we have is to help our kids discover their WHY! When kids lose their WHY, they lose their WAY. One of the best ways to help kids find their why is by helping them discover their gifts (strengths), their passions (motivation) and their struggles (purpose). When we help give direction and guidance in these areas for our children, it helps put them on a road for future success as they fulfill their own destiny. Our job is to raise them and release them to reach their full potential.
A – Availability. What would a great father do to make himself available for his child?
One of the most valuable gifts we can give to our children is the gift of time. LOVE is spelled TIME. Notice what happens with the word DAD if you replace “A” with a “U” for Unavailability. DAD is spelled DUD!
As dads, it’s easy to pour ourselves into our work and into our kids’ extracurricular activities, which can be a wonderful thing. However, being available is so much more than watching a game or a recital, it’s taking the time to enter their world and connect with them in those critical moments of disappointment or in times of recognition for a job well done. Either way, a great father invests time to show love in every way because that is what a great father would do.
D – Discipline. How would a great father discipline his child?
Do you remember the Etch-A-Sketch game that allows you to draw using two little knobs? If you didn’t like what you had drawn and you wanted to draw something different, all you had to do was shake it, and it cleared the screen and would allow you to start over. Unfortunately, too many parents are guilty of being an “Etch-A-Sketch parent” when it comes to enforcing rules and guidelines for their children. What was not allowed yesterday is allowed today. A great father would not only be consistent with his love but know how to balance love and limits. Discipline isn’t something you do TO your child but FOR your child. Discipline is correction driven by love.
When a dad takes the time to ask the question, “What would a great father do?” it’s amazing how that one question can bring things into focus and allow us to influence our children in the most loving and supportive way.
Rodney Gage is an author, speaker and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church. His passion is to help people live life on purpose. To learn more, check out rethinklife.com.
