Several years ago, my wife, Michelle, and I took a trip with our son Luke to Lynchburg, Virginia. Since we had a solid 10½ hours of drive time ahead of us, we decided to get an early start. We left the house around 6 a.m., putting us in Lynchburg early enough to have dinner with our daughter Ashlyn. Since following directions isn’t exactly my strong suit (at least according to my wife), I told her I knew how to get to Lynchburg without the GPS. After about five hours of driving, we crossed into Alabama, and we all knew something was wrong. (I had been sensing it for quite a while, but I refused to say anything. I wanted Michelle and Luke to believe I was in total control.) Michelle picked up her phone and opened the GPS app, and she quickly realized we were going in the wrong direction. We were en route to Birmingham, where our oldest daughter and her husband live. Michelle reminded me again that I’m not very good at directions, and my son Luke piled on. I apologized, opened the GPS app on my phone, and entered the correct address to Ashlyn’s house. We didn’t make it to Lynchburg in time to have dinner with her, but we had a great midnight snack! The three of us knew where we wanted to go, but we (I) took the wrong path. It can happen to any of us. 

Let me ask you a question: As we step into 2023, do you have a clear vision for your family? Do you know where you want to go in your marriage or with your children spiritually, morally, physically, financially, relationally, academically and professionally?

I realize those are massive areas to think about, and it may seem impossible to answer those questions clearly. However, let me encourage you to set aside time to reflect, regroup and re-write your vision and dreams for your marriage and family for the coming year. 

To help, consider these steps:

1. Believe in Yourself.

Write down the things you’ve attempted before and found success. That’s your track record. Don’t accept your life as it is because it’s the hand you’ve been dealt, and don’t believe that life

is as good as it’s going to get. Take responsibility for becoming everything you can, not only for your benefit but also for your spouse and children.  

2. Believe in Your Dream.

Your journey will have a profoundly positive impact on the people you love. Keep the dream alive by imagining what difference it will make to have a clear direction for your marriage and

family and take the necessary steps along the way.

3. Set benchmarks.

Any significant trip involves stops to refuel the car and the people inside it. These markers remind you that you’re making progress. As you think about the journey, what progress can you expect in three months, six months, a year, five years, and many more years in the future?

4. Find the Balance Between Reaching for the Stars and Being Realistic.

Most of us drift to one end or the other, so you may need some help finding the right balance. The people around you may not be as passionate as you are, so don’t assume they’re going to be as aggressive or as cautious as you are when achieving your goals.

5. Find a Partner.

Your spouse, kids or trusted friend are built-in accountability partners. Bounce ideas off them, ask for their feedback and talk through details with them. It’s essential to engage them in every step of the process … it’s their journey, too!

6. Be Persistent.

We encounter potholes, detours, delays and other problems on every road trip. Expect them, prepare for them as best you can, and don’t panic when they happen. It’s the same in life’s journey. We may face pushback from people who don’t understand our dreams … and some of those people may live under our roofs! One of the marks of maturity is the ability to press forward under challenging times graciously. 

7. Don’t Compare Yourself or Your Dream to Anyone Else.

Comparison is entirely normal … and lethal! When our eyes are on someone else, they aren’t where they should be. You may have heard of the 18/40/60 Rule: When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody else thinks about you. When you’re 40, you don’t care what others think about you. When you’re 60, you realize no one has been thinking about you all

along!

8. Celebrate Often and Well.

One of the most effective ways to stay on track with any goal is to celebrate incremental successes. If we wait until we arrive at the destination, we will have missed countless opportunities to say, “Hey, look how far we’ve come! Isn’t that amazing? I can’t wait to see

what’s coming next?”  
Rodney Gage is a family mentor, author, speaker and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church, which meets at Lake Nona High School. His passion is to help families win at home and in life. To receive a FREE copy of one of his books, go to www.thedoublewinclub.com. To learn more about his marriage and parenting mentoring, check out thewinningfamily.com and rethinklife.com