Working on a puzzle with someone, especially with your family, allows you to work toward a common goal. Have you ever stopped to think about the most crucial part of a puzzle? Without this one critical component, it’s nearly impossible to complete it. The answer is the box top! Without a clear picture of what you’re trying to assemble, even if you find some matching pieces, the task can become immensely frustrating, often leading to giving up. The puzzle remains incomplete.
This scenario mirrors the modern family. Many couples and parents attempt to piece together their homes and relationships without a clear vision of what they should look like. However, there’s good news: You don’t have to leave your family puzzle unfinished or broken. It’s possible to fit the pieces back together.
While having the box top doesn’t make the task effortless – particularly if the puzzle is complex, featuring hundreds or thousands of pieces – it does require patience, focus, determination, communication and teamwork. These are the same qualities needed to build strong, healthy family dynamics.
A guide – akin to a box top – provides a vision of what character qualities make up a strong, healthy marriage and family based on extensive research and interviews with couples and parents who have successfully established solid relationships at home.
5 Signs of a Strong, Healthy Family
1. A Clear Vision
Without a vision, a marriage and family can drift aimlessly, like a ship without a rudder. Jim Rohn said, “You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight!” Whether you’re single, a single parent, or part of a blended or nuclear family, it’s never too late to define or redefine your vision for who you want to become and where you want to go in your family relationships.
2. An Attitude of Service
Imagine a world where everyone embraced the idea of “it’s not about me.” Consider the change in the atmosphere of our homes if we shifted from being self-centered to serving one another. Embodying what you wish to see in others is crucial as a couple or parent. An excellent way to involve the whole family in serving the needs of others is to volunteer to help those less fortunate or by sponsoring a child or taking a mission trip. Anytime we expose our children to different cultures and other people’s hardships and struggles, it increases the level of appreciation and contentment and produces deeper joy and fulfillment.
3. Marital Intimacy Between Husband and Wife
Derived from the Latin word “intimus,” meaning “inner,” intimacy involves two people opening up to their inner selves. Another way to spell intimacy is “Into Me You See.” When a husband and wife enter each other’s lives emotionally, intellectually, relationally, physically and spiritually, they connect at the deepest level in every area of their lives. It’s built on unconditional love and trust, allowing partners to share their fears, hurts and dreams without fear of condemnation. This secure, loving environment strengthens the couple’s bond and profoundly impacts their children’s sense of security and love.
4. Parents Who Teach and Train
Teaching (from the Greek “nouthesia,” meaning “putting into mind”) often involves verbal instruction. Training (from the Greek “paideia,” meaning “nurture” or “chastening”) involves action and can be both positive and negative. These elements are crucial in guiding children with strong values and character qualities that will serve as their compass through life. Fredrick Douglass put it succinctly: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults.”
5. Children Who Obey and Honor Their Parents
A common concern among teachers today is the lack of respect shown by students, which can escalate to defiance and even violence. Teaching children the benefits of respecting and honoring authority can transform chaos into peace and harmony.
Just like the boy who reconstructed a world map from a shredded newspaper his father gave him to play with. He had hoped to keep his son occupied while he finished some work. To the father’s astonishment, the little boy quickly reconstructed the newspaper featuring the world map. The father asked his son how he had managed to do it so quickly. The little boy explained that on the other side of the map was a picture of a man and that once he got the man right, the world was right. The same principle and lesson is true for the next generation to learn. Once you get the “man” right, getting the “world” right is easy!
This framework can serve as your box top for building and nurturing a strong, healthy family. Remember, like any puzzle, the picture becomes clearer and the process more enjoyable when you know what you’re working toward. By instilling these values and working together, families can achieve harmony and fulfillment as they seek to become strong, healthy families.
Rodney Gage is a family coach, podcaster, author, speaker and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church, which meets at Lake Nona High School. His passion is to help families win at home and in life. To learn more about how you can get a copy of his new book called Why Your Kids Do What They Do, go to www.thewinningfamily.com or ReThinkLife.com.
