Floridians know their Spanish. A trip to Walmart is to hear perfect Spanish, Spanish in all its iterations. So when I moved here, I thought I’d give this Spanish thing a go. To say I’m pretty good at languages is an understatement. My family moved to Germany when I was two, and you should have heard me jabber away in German by age five. I was a baby prodigy! In fact, my … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Signs You Should Leave Florida
I listened to the sound of my tires as they gripped the dirt, enjoying the rush of speed and wind on my face. As I rode my mountain bike in Alafia River State Park, all was well. That’s when I heard the croaking. Hmm, that’s not a bullfrog, that’s a gator. Wait, why is he croaking from over there? And over there? And, and yikes! Obviously, I lived, but it got me … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Not Writing About Roadkill
If you’re a regular reader of Nonahood News and, in particular, the best part – my insanely humorous column – then, I bet you’ve been wondering how I come up with such ingenious topics month in and month out. I mean, we live in Florida, right? When am I going to run out of material? I’m beginning to suspect never. When I think I’m scraping the bottom of the swamp … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: The Real Florida Man, Part Two
I think Florida Man gets a bad rap. Mostly from weirdos. If a “Florida man eats racoon raw” or a “Florida man marries alligator,” isn’t he simply a creep? What about the rest of us normal Florida men? I’ve explored this idea before, but I feel that there’s more ant-riddled ground to cover. So, here are some headlines that real news should be relaying: Florida Man greets … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Back to School
It’s back-to-school season. Yay. Our poor young people. One day, when their children whine about walking to school, today’s youth will be ready. They will speak of 105-degree walks in the middle of worldwide super-viruses. They will speak of sanitizers, masks and temperature checks whilst trying not to shrivel into a pile of dust. And when their children ask them what … [Read more...]
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