As a feeding therapist with over 15 years experience, I hear this concern so often: The only way parents can get their kids to eat, try foods, or finish a meal is with a distraction. Parents feel guilty, stressed, and pulled in multiple directions. They need their kids to get calories in, but they often feel they are doing them harm by allowing distractions. To make matters worse, other family members may comment, or parents will fight between themselves about what is “right.” Below, find some practical advice from a professional to alleviate stress and get you on a path to success!

The Heart of the Issue – Whether to Distract or Not?

There are a few reasons for using distractions:

1. Using a distraction is ALWAYS better than force feeding, implementing punishment for NOT eating, or adding yelling to the mealtime situation. If a distraction allows your child to take more bites, try new foods, or eat more without added negativity, that is a win.
2. Distractions are not meant to be permanent and can be reduced or removed completely. Distractions should not be thought of as a permanent solution. 
3. Distraction feeding should be used when it is the ONLY way to get food into your significantly underweight child and there is a concern of needing alternative means of nutrition or hydration.
4. A distraction can reduce/eliminate your child’s anxiety or sensory issues to the point where he is able to take in a new type of food or different texture.

When NOT to rely on distractions:

1. Your child is receiving feeding therapy, and the therapists instruct you to use techniques that eliminate distractions.
2. You are using distractions for behaviors unrelated to feeding, and they are being carried over into mealtimes.
3. You are busy (we all are!), and you need electronics to keep your child entertained while eating.
4. They are so distracted by the device they are using that they are totally checked out. For example, they are pocketing food and will not follow a command to swallow.

So, How Do We Remove These Distractions?

Like I stated before, distractions should not be permanent. Below, find some tips regarding how to remove distractions while optimizing success. Remember, often having your child work with a professional is helpful, but you can still try these on your own!

1. Attempt to use mealtime distractions. Allow them to have some “play food” AND food to eat or a spoon to eat with and a spoon to bang! Although not ideal, it’s a nice step away from the tablet. 
2. Turn the distraction into a reinforcement. Still use the tablet but not constantly. Have it on and give them food they love first. Push pause. Tell them to take a bite. Once taken, push play and give lots of praise! Let the show play for 30 seconds and continue this repeatedly with more bites required to push play. Once they grasp the concept, move on to a more challenging food or simply have them finish a portion of a meal or the whole meal before pushing play. Easy way to wean, taking it slowly.
3. Limit snacking to promote hunger during mealtimes, so kids come hungry, sit, eat, and are motivated enough to finish the meal. Short and sweet is the key with kid meals.
4. ALWAYS have preferred foods available. It is great to have non-preferred foods as well, but having anxiety-free foods to eat will encourage happy mealtimes without stress.
5. Place the tablet away and have a timer available. Tell your child the first one minute of the meal will be without a tablet. Set the timer. Simply start eating and talking as a family. Next meal, set the timer to two minutes. Gradually increase the time until the tablet comes out only after a day or two.
6. Just quit. All electronics are off during every meal. Going cold turkey is extremely hard! I have not had great success with it, but it is worth a shot if you feel it is a good fit for your family.

Distraction feeding can play a role in many instances, and as a parent doing your best, you should not beat yourself up over it! There are many reasons why it may be a good fit for you, and these techniques can help you reduce or eliminate the need for it. Seeking professional help is often worth it.