Q: “I’m moving to a new city. How do I stay social?” – Rose
A: There are all kinds of options to find friends in a new place. While being alone is great and healthy, everyone needs a community. Go out and do things that you’re interested in or that you’ve been wanting to try. A great place to seek friendship is in a place you enjoy already; that’s one thing you’ll have in common! Strike up a conversation with someone or ask to join someone’s group – obviously, read their body language first, but many people would be happy to connect with you. If you take proper safety precautions, Facebook can be a great place for newbie meet-ups or local activities. If you’re working, ask a coworker you trust to show you around the city or ask them if they’d like to go to lunch. It can certainly be a stressful scenario, but one small leap of bravery during that initial invitation will open the door to a potentially great friendship! Put yourself out of your comfort zone briefly and find like-minded people you can develop relationships with. Before you know it, you’ll be meeting friends of friends of friends and feeling grateful that you joined that Facebook group or talked to that group of people at the art museum.
Q: “How do I ask my partner to stop being on their phone so much?” – Victoria
A: Partnerships deserve mutual respect. It’s a two-way street and will only truly work when it is in balance. Your partner needs to understand how their actions make you feel. However, they’re not mind-readers; it is your job as one-half of the partnership to communicate your feelings to them. Don’t approach the situation with anger. Heat and accusations will immediately trigger a defensive response from your partner, and this will not help anyone accomplish anything. Emphasize your appreciation for quality time and keep your own phone out of sight. Ideally, they’d pick up on this and follow suit, but you can always ask that you two turn off your phones during a meal or while spending time together.
Q: “I clean my house, and it’s dirty again within a day. How do I maintain a clean house or keep my motivation to clean alive?” – Theo
A: Cleaning is a circular routine that never seems to stop and never seems to slow down. Keeping up with the monstrous number of things that need to be done can feel desperately overwhelming, but it is important to remember how accomplishing these things will make you feel. Retaining your feeling of relief by coming home to a clean house or apartment can make a lot of things feel worth it. Your day begins with you making your bed. I’ve mentioned this idea before but feel that it deserves reiteration. Start every day with a swelling strength that will determine the course of the rest of your day because a strong foundation is essential for growth. It sets the tone for the day in that you have already accomplished one thing. Mess in the house is completely human, but cleaning it up and restoring it to its aesthetic glory can be extremely therapeutic. Take small steps throughout the day to keep up with the tidiness or give yourself small goals and bask in the satisfaction of completing them. Incentivizing cleaning can be effective as well and doesn’t always involve spending money or consuming calories. Motivate yourself with the thought of taking a bath or going for a walk on a nature trail once you finish tidying up. Know what works best for your particular mind and use it to your hygienic advantage.
