In this monthly column, Felicity offers advice in response to questions from readers according to the month’s subject theme. October’s theme is “Happiness and Well-Being.”

Q: I’m talking to this girl and I really want to make her my girlfriend, but I got out of a really rough relationship recently and therefore don’t know if it’s healthy to jump right back into a new commitment. How long is the grace period before you can get back in the game if someone feels worthwhile?

• Carlos C.
  A: Only you can tell when you are ready to dive into something new. However, be certain that you are ready. Too many times, I’ve started something new without having healed completely. You don’t want to hurt this girl or yourself – make sure you have finished grieving and are truly ready to let someone else into your heart. If you think you’re prepared and capable of this commitment, go for it! I wish you nothing but happiness. Do what is best for you, but be certain that the former chapter of your life has ended first.
  Q: I find myself getting in prolonged periods of depression from time to time for no reason at all. Any tips on how to avoid this or at least come back to a normal state of mind quicker?
• Anonymous
  A: I’ve struggled with trauma, depression, and all kinds of anxiety for the entirety of my life. While these spells are mostly inevitable, what I find helpful is focusing on things that will take my mind off those troubles. Know that you are surrounded by people who care about you, even if not required by blood, and turn your attention to things that make you happy. Go to a pet store or animal shelter and play with puppies, paint somewhere on the water with a good friend and good music, watch a comforting movie with your favorite snacks at the ready – do what you know brings you joy. If you can’t seem to get yourself out of bed, at least do the bare minimum to take care of yourself: make sure you eat something even a little bit nutritious, drink some water, brush your teeth, wash your face. Something minute that seems to help me acknowledge the brighter things in life is writing down one thing per day that I am thankful for. Keep a journal by your bed so that, at the end of the day, you can reflect on all of the good things from your day and choose one to scrawl down. Keep yourself busy, find things that fulfill you. Remember that you are never, ever alone and that for every sad thought you have, there are two dozen people who will love you through it all.
  Q: How do you know whether you should address an issue immediately or give it some space?
• Anonymous
  A: Some issues require immediate rectification, such as if it is a problem that brings someone harm. In most cases, however, they are little squabbles within our families or workspaces that bring a lot of heat but lack civil discussion. I mentioned last month the importance of letting something cool before approaching it, and this is no different. Give someone enough time to soothe their anger before talking about the issue again. Confronting it soon after the initial argument can be explosive. You’ll want to give each side time to consider the other’s point, and the space can make all the difference. Try not to bring it back up with the same emotion; speak calmly and logically to best address what is going on. Be patient and kind, no matter what.
  Q: “How do I manage my busy schedule while still implementing a self-care routine in my day?”
• Elizabeth B.
  A: I know what you mean! What I find effective is seeking little pockets of time in my day to incorporate self-care. My commute to work is about 30 minutes, for instance, so during this time, I set up a queue of killer songs to sing along to. Before bed, if I’ve had a long day, I put on a face mask and read a little bit as I wind down. I set up my heating pad on my back as I put on my makeup every morning. You have your own routine full of things you consider to be “self-care,” but I recommend finding periods of solace throughout the day when you can recharge a little bit of sanity.
  Have a question for Felicity? Send it to FelicityMaeKnow@gmail.com and you may have your question answered!