As you think about this new calendar year of 2020 and the beginning of a new decade, let me encourage you to think about establishing a Family Goals Tree.  

The Family Goals Tree is a perfect metaphor for a life of growth and strength. When a tree is healthy, it grows organically and bears fruit. In the same way, a healthy family that’s rooted in the soil of right beliefs and committed to growth will keep growing like a mighty oak and withstand the storms and obstacles that inevitably come. The Family Goals Tree consists of five branches: Growth, Obstacles, Attitude, Long-Term, and Short-Term. As these limbs grow, the whole tree becomes fortified. Let’s take a look at the five branches.  

G – Growth

This might sound like a contradiction to my title for this article, but let me challenge you with this thought. Rather than focus on GOALS, focus on GROWTH. Why? Because growth is a process, not a destination. It’s a lifelong journey. That’s why we need to set goals within the areas we are committed to growing in, as a family. Let me suggest five key areas for your family to focus on for growth in 2020. Spiritual, Relational, Financial, Intellectual, and Physical. As a family, ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow? In planning, the best place to begin is at the end. What outcome do you want? The number one prerequisite for growth is CHANGE. We have to be willing to embrace change if we’re going to grow in our marriage and family.  

O – Obstacles 

Leadership expert and author John C. Maxwell says “everything worthwhile is uphill.” Why?  Because health, growth and success in your family is a journey. The moment you step out and commit to making some changes in your life and commit to growing, you can take it to the bank; you will encounter unexpected obstacles along the way. I have found that change produces conflict. However, if we push through the conflict or obstacles, it will result in even greater growth. We have to resist the resistance. We have to push through the push back. Don’t quit during the dip, and don’t bail before the breakthrough. Turn your obstacles into opportunities.

A – Attitude

Author Chuck Swindoll says, “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” The only way we can get through the obstacles we face in life and achieve our goals and  dreams as a family is by staying positive and optimistic. The reason this is so important is that our attitudes are contagious. We have to “be” the attitude we want to be around. Keeping a positive attitude and perspective will help keep us and everyone around us moving forward. Our attitude is the key to overcoming the obstacles that get in our way.  

L – Long-Term

Where do you see your marriage and family five, 10, 20 years from now? In our new book called Family Shift: The 5-Step Plan To Stop Drifting and Start Living with Greater Intention, we talk about five critical shifts every couple and family must make to live with greater intention. The first shift is to start with the end in mind (learn more at familyshift.com).  Most people focus on what they want to do long-term. However, what is even more critical is defining who you want to become. When we get our “who” right, we get our “what” right.   Keep reminding yourself that your current situation is not your final destination.  

S – Short-Term

The first step to start growing and getting to where you want to be is knowing where you want to go as a family.

Question: What areas in your life do you need to change?  

• Ask … What do we need to stop doing?
• Ask … What do we need to start doing?
• Ask … Why is it important that we stop doing those things?
• Ask … Why is it important that we start doing those things? 

When we define the WHY behind the WHAT, it changes our perspective toward change and propels us toward growth. Sowing these seeds into the fertile soil and foundation of our lives will allow the values that are most important to us to grow into deep roots that will leave a lasting legacy for generations to come.  

Rodney Gage is a family coach, author, speaker, and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church that meets at Lake Nona High School. His passion is to help families stop drifting and start living with greater intention. To learn more, check out familyshift.com and rethinklife.com