For once, January flew by this year! Now, with February’s arrival, we’re getting into the nitty-gritty of things, and by that I mean, we’ve approached the one day of the year you either love or hate: the oh-so-romantic day of Saint Valentine. 

For most people my age, Valentine’s Day growing up meant classroom parties where everyone exchanged cute little valentines and indulged in a large quantity of sweets that could rival Halloween’s. That tradition ended in fifth grade for me, but throughout the years, my mom would always give me a box of candy or another small trinket of her love so that I never felt unappreciated. She would also remind me when giving me these trinkets that Valentine’s isn’t solely about romantic love; it’s about showing appreciation to the many different types of love in our lives, including, let’s say, self-love. And maybe it’s because of her outlook that I don’t see V-day as anything to get upset about, even when, like this year, I’m – try not to hold your breath here – single.

However, not everyone shares my outlook. I have many friends who start dreading the day as we inch closer and closer to it. Some would start dreading it as early as Christmas. I know some people who don’t want to talk about V-day to begin with, like it’s the Voldemort version of a holiday. I’ve even gotten looked at like I cooked someone’s puppy for mentioning the day in casual conversation! Which is why I have made it here to say to all the single people who despise this quite simple holiday: It is really not that Sirius.

You know what sounds like an amazing way to spend Valentine’s Day? Doing whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want! Think to yourself, if I wanted someone to charm the pants off me, what would that person have to do? Narrow it down to a top three. For me, I’d like to draw myself a bubble bath, get my nails done, put together a movie marathon for the night.* 

Self-care is totally the way to go when you’re single on V-day. All the energy and devotion you’d normally show to your significant other, just show it to yourself and then some! You’ll feel better for it and much less lonely. Not to mention, because you’re taking the time to invest in yourself and demonstrate love to yourself, you will help to attract even greater love toward you later in the future.

I know it’s not easy to see everyone “boo’d up” on V-day, especially with all the constant showboating on social media, which is why I suggest taking the day off of it if you’re not in the headspace for it or if you feel like it’s going to send you deeper into despair. But please, please, please try your best not to be so hard on yourself. Being single or being in a relationship is just one random piece of information about you, like if you only eat cheese pizza and prefer beer over wine.* So don’t let it define you.

*To my future spouse: Here is where I’d recommend you take some notes. I adore red roses, sunsets, and books that can make me cry. And I know what you’re thinking, Wow, it’s that easy? Haha, you wish. But at least you’ll be getting off on the right foot! 😉