When I was younger, I remember my biggest dream being to grow up and attend a good college, hoping to make myself and my parents proud. I thought that by getting into a school with a reputable name and good program, I could set myself up for the rest of my life with ease.

College has been somewhat of an unconventional process for all the individuals in my family. It took my mother nine years to finish her bachelor’s degree as she took night classes and balanced three jobs while working to earn her degree; she paid for it all by herself since her family was in no financial position to afford her schooling. My father went to a technical school and earned a trade degree but not a typical four-year bachelor’s. My grandfather didn’t continue with school past the eighth grade, and my other grandparents only held high school diplomas.

This meant that I was going to be the first in my family to attend a university and earn my bachelor’s in the conventional, four-year, standard approach. Or, at least, that’s what I thought when my search for college began – until after enrolling in one school, leaving, enrolling in another school and then leaving, and then enrolling in another school and leaving. All that led me to the place where I am now: the Penn State World Campus, where I can earn a Penn State education from anywhere in the United States online. This long process has helped me to understand why it is that young people are more anxious about college now than ever before:

Cost.

Cost is what deterred me from continuing my enrollment in some of the schools that I thought would be a good fit for me. Even now, in my sophomore year, I do have loans out to pay for my education, just because even with 17 years of saving and countless applications for scholarships, or even finding ways to lower my costs (such as doing online education through a public school), it just isn’t enough to cover the cost.

Now, don’t get me wrong, online education is probably one of the best things that I could have done for myself. I travel and work quite often, and a traditional classroom setting is perhaps not the best thing for a student like me. Penn State offers one of the best journalism programs in the United States, and the chance to obtain that kind of degree online without having to pay the hefty out-of-state tuition, rather just the online one, is a blessing, but that doesn’t mean that all the pressure is off as far as making sure I can pay for tuition, books, and any other college-based expenses. That just isn’t the position that so many middle-class families in the United States are in. Often, it does mean taking out loans, working multiple jobs, and finding ways to pay for the most expensive piece of paper you’ll ever collect.

Looking at the statistics from College Financial Group, it’s hard for a lot of young people these days to imagine themselves at what would’ve once been considered their dream schools as a kid. Tuition is rapidly increasing for both public, private, and elite private schools. The average cost of attending a four-year private college is now over $59,000 per year, or $254,000 over four years, based on projections that have the cost rising 4.5% each year, according to the College Financial Group. To contrast, the average public college now costs over $28,000 per year, but this is projected to rise 6.5% each year, to about $151,000 total for a student starting college in 2018.

College wasn’t once the “expected” path for high school students to follow. It was often considered a luxury that could only be afforded by those in wealthy families or those with enough connections to get in to schools. Many in the Baby Boomer and Generation Z generations remark on the ease of getting into colleges or how they themselves were able to work and pay off every dime their education cost by themselves.

College wasn’t always as difficult to get in to as it is today. The number of students applying for schools was exponentially lower from the 1970s to the late 1980s, and this made the application process much easier for those looking to get into public, private, and even elite private schools.

The reality is, for example, that college costs are approximately 593.36% higher in 2018 than they were in the year 1985, according to U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics. That means that the purchasing power of $20,000 in the year 1985 has the same purchasing power as $138,671.06, making it a possibility for those in 1985 to have paid for college on their own but nearly impossible for an 18- or 19-year old to do the same on their own today.

There is also an alarmingly large amount of pressure being placed on college-aged students to attend school, even if a college education isn’t necessarily the best fit. Many honors students are making the choice to attend a trade school or start a career rather than continue on into higher education simply because the cost is not worth the potential benefits. “The average return on going to college is falling,” Goldman Sachs researchers wrote in an article on CNN. “The bank is known for ruthlessly focusing on the bottom line and explains that many students are better off not going to mediocre colleges, ones that rank in the bottom 25% of all universities,” Goldman says in a new report. They earn less, on average, than high school graduates.

So what’s the answer in all of this? Practical planning and coming to terms with your financial situation, applying for scholarships, or even considering other options like trade school or entering a career. We can’t continue to put added pressure on students simply because they do not want to go into a four-year degree program. We also cannot expect all students to be able to justify the kind of debt that can come with earning a “typical” four-year degree.

The truth is, college is worth it for some students and not for others. Parents have to be open to having those kinds of conversations with their students, and not simply push one thing over the other when it comes to helping these young adults make one of the most important decisions of their lives. The cost of college is not expected to go down at any point soon. Do your research and have open ears for dialogue with your student when it comes to what they want to do with their lives. Help put dreams into perspective when it comes to schools or what they’d like to do.

I can say, honestly, I did not ever peg Penn State as the school I’d end up with, let alone doing it online while I work and take internships. Sometimes, what’s best does not start as a dream, maybe more of a Plan B or a second course of action.

That does not make it any less of a success.