I recently went thrift shopping with my 21-year-old son, who is very “trendy” with his style of clothing. As we were walking into the local Goodwill store, I asked him, “Why are we shopping here? This is a place where people get rid of their ‘old’ stuff!” He said, “Dad, that’s the point. This is where you find some really ‘cool’ clothes!” What’s crazy is the style of clothing he considered “cool” and “trendy” are clothes that were in style when I was in 7^th grade! As the old saying goes, “What goes around comes around.” What is considered “cool” is all a matter of perspective!

The same is true when it comes to being a “cool” dad.  

Here is what is not cool. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 18.3 million children (1 in 4) live without a biological, step- or adoptive father in the home. Sadly, we are facing a “mandemic” in our society. Too many people are growing up without a father figure in their home.

Billy Graham once said, “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed and yet one of the most valuable assets in society.”  

As we honor dads this Father’s Day, it is important to highlight the positive qualities and contributions our fathers, or male role models, have had in our lives.  

If you’re a father figure reading this article, it’s also important to remind yourself what being a “cool” dad looks like in our kids’ eyes. Being a dad today is more challenging than ever. Men face pressures on so many levels. It’s easy to feel inadequate or overwhelmed by all the demands at work and home. Below are a few ways you can remain “C.O.O.L.” under pressure.

C – COURAGE  

Former President Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” We may not have all the answers; however, we cannot let “fear” or “inadequacy” keep us neutral or cause us to remain silent. As men, the actions of leadership, justice, compassion and moral character must be exemplified in our homes now more than ever. It takes courage to lead our families where they need to go, not necessarily where they want to go. 

O – OBSTACLES

In life, and especially as parents, there will always be obstacles that get in our way; it takes courage to turn our obstacles into opportunities. As an eight-year-old boy, my son, Luke, was diagnosed with a rare hip disease called Perthes. His world quickly came to a screeching halt as he transitioned from playing Little League baseball and enjoying all the activities for a boy his age to spending the next three years of his life in a wheelchair. Little did we know that during that time in a wheelchair, he would learn to play the guitar and piano. Today, our son Luke is a full-time singer and songwriter for a record label in Nashville, Tennessee. I have learned over the years through situations like Luke’s that setbacks are often disguised as setups for something greater. As a dad, leverage the obstacles you face as opportunities for growth.

O – OPTIMISM

The only way we can effectively lead our families with courage and overcome obstacles in our lives, marriage and family is to remain optimistic. In a day and age where there is so much negativity, division, fear and uncertainty about what the future holds, it’s vital as dads to remain optimistic and hope-filled. As W. Clement Stone once said, “There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude.” Keeping the right perspective and remaining optimistic about the circumstances we face will profoundly impact everyone around you.  

L – LOVE

There is nothing more powerful than unconditional love. It is a virtue that is missing in our culture today. Sacrificial, unconditional love means loving and accepting someone for who they are without conditions. We don’t have to agree with everyone to love them. However, when we demonstrate love to our children (verbally and by our actions) for who they are rather than on the condition of what they do or don’t do, we are showing them unconditional love.

Rick Warren once said, “The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.” Having courage, overcoming obstacles, remaining optimistic and demonstrating love to our kids every day is how we can be a “C.O.O.L.” dad to our kids.