Marriage is one of the most rewarding yet challenging relationships we can experience. My wife, Michelle, and I have been married for over 33 years. Like any couple, we’ve faced differences and endured trials. But it’s what we chose to do during those difficulties that allowed us to experience breakthroughs rather than breakdowns – or worse, a breakup.

While every couple begins with the hope of “happily ever after,” the reality is that relationships often encounter difficulties that can feel insurmountable. Research identifies five major reasons couples divorce, but here’s the good news: These issues don’t have to lead to isolation or separation. When couples work through their differences, they often emerge stronger, healthier and more connected than ever before.

Let’s explore these five challenges and discover practical ways to overcome them.

1. Communication Problems

The greatest distance between two people is misunderstanding. In my experience, both personally and through working with hundreds of couples, communication breakdowns lie at the heart of most marital conflicts. Misunderstandings, avoidance of tough conversations, or a failure to truly listen can create emotional distance and frustration.

The Solution: Speak Less to Argue and Listen More to Learn

Genuine and effective communication begins with active listening. Create a safe space where both of you can share openly without fear of judgment or ridicule. Make it a habit to enter into each other’s world. Check in daily about thoughts, feelings and goals. Focus not on winning arguments but on understanding each other’s perspectives.

Remember, communication isn’t just about solving problems; it’s about building connection and oneness.

2. Infidelity and Broken Trust

Infidelity is one of the most painful breaches of trust in a marriage, often leading to deeper insecurity and disconnection. However, it doesn’t have to signal the end.

The Solution: Transparency Builds Trust

Rebuilding trust begins with true repentance, honesty and accountability. Be open about your struggles, exposure to temptations and associations. Establish clear boundaries to protect your relationship. If trust has been broken, forgiveness can be immediate, but healing requires time, patience and intentional effort. Counseling can help address underlying issues and build a foundation of radical honesty and forgiveness.

Remember: The grass isn’t greener on the other side – it’s greener where you water it. Many assume life will be better with someone else, but research shows that second marriages often face greater challenges. Instead of walking away, consider the potential for growth and restoration right where you are.

3. Financial Stress

Money is one of the leading causes of marital conflict. Disagreements over spending, debt or financial goals can strain any relationship.

The Solution: Teamwork Makes the Money Work

Approach finances as a team effort. Start by creating a budget (or spending plan) together and being transparent about your financial situation, including debts and goals. Prioritize saving and make decisions with long-term dreams in mind. You may have to “give up to go up” by selling off to pay off. When you treat money as a partnership rather than a battleground, you’ll build trust, reduce conflict, and align your purpose as a couple.

4. Lack of Intimacy

Emotional and physical intimacy are the glue that holds marriages together. When intimacy fades, emotional tanks are empty and couples may feel disconnected and unappreciated.

The Solution: Pursue Your Partner Daily

Intimacy grows when couples intentionally nurture and cultivate their oneness. Schedule regular date nights, express daily affirmations, and prioritize time for both emotional and physical closeness. Don’t wait for the “perfect moment”; instead, seize small opportunities to connect – whether it’s holding hands, sharing a laugh, or simply being present. Shift your mindset from “working on your marriage” to working on your togetherness.

5. Unrealistic Expectations and Incompatibility

Many couples enter marriage with idealized visions of what their mate or relationship should look like. When reality doesn’t match these expectations, frustration and insecurity can take root.

The Solution: Celebrate Differences, Align Strengths and Goals

Instead of focusing on how you and your spouse are different, focus on your shared strengths, dreams and values. Discuss your vision for the future and work together to make it a reality. Differences can complement each other, adding balance, perspective and strength to your relationship.

Unity isn’t about being the same – it’s about moving in the same direction.

Is Divorce Really the Answer?

It’s easy to believe that leaving a struggling marriage will lead to greater happiness. But studies show divorce doesn’t always result in a better life or a more fulfilling second marriage. Many who separate face the same challenges with a new partner.

The truth is, the key to a satisfying marriage isn’t finding someone “better” – it’s choosing to strengthen the relationship you already have. Staying and working through difficulties creates an opportunity for growth, healing and a deeper connection. Yes, there are extreme instances where abuse, abandonment or unrepentant unfaithfulness may justify divorce. However, too many couples use the excuse of “irreconcilable differences” as a way out, hoping to find someone “better.”

Marriage is about more than partnership; it’s love in action. It’s about mutual submission, sacrifice, serving one another, commitment, resilience and teamwork. The challenges you face together can either tear you apart or bring you closer, depending on how you handle them.

Invest in your marriage. Take the first step: Listen more. Forgive freely. Pursue togetherness daily. Together, you can overcome any obstacle and build a marriage that flourishes.

Rodney Gage is a family coach, podcaster, author, speaker, and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church, which meets at Lake Nona High School. His passion is to help families win at home and in life. To learn more about how you can get a copy of his new book called Why Your Kids Do What They Do, go to www.thewinningfamily.com or ReThinkLife.com.