Is it even possible to live in a way that’s healthy, functional and fulfilling – at work and at home? To enjoy a win-win life? The answer is “yes.”
One of the keys to thriving both at work and at home is establishing margin. It’s a simple word that’s packed with practical applications. It’s the space between events that gives us time to breathe, think and rest, if only for a few moments.
So much of what drives our decisions is found in one word: more. If we can only get one more thing accomplished, we believe we’ll feel better about ourselves, and just as important, we’ll impress anyone who’s watching. The push to have more stuff, make more money, be more successful, and be more impressive erodes any sense of margin. We equate speed with success and busyness with productivity. We’re often late, overworked, over-committed and exhausted, and we wonder why life is so hard.
Why in the world do we live like this? Because we’ve convinced ourselves of three things that aren’t really true:
“There’s not enough time!” Maybe the problem isn’t lack of time but too many things on the to-do list! We say “yes” to too many things, and when we think of saying “no,” we feel guilty or deficient – or, more likely, that we’re falling behind our friends who live at an even more frantic pace than we do.
“I’m just in a busy season right now.” Maybe, maybe not. The problem is that we’re so driven to pack more things into our schedules that any margin is quickly eaten up by our next overcommitment. We’re creatures of habit – good ones and bad ones.
“But this is really important!” Yeah, I know; I’ve said this far too many times myself. It’s the default excuse to avoid making hard decisions to say “no” to anything. But too often, we confuse the urgent for the important, and we live for the adrenaline rush we get when we kick into high gear. In this way, everything is “really important” because every task and appointment is a chance to prove that we’re competent and worthy of acclaim.
Fight through this resistance: Talk to someone who will encourage you to keep moving in the right direction. It’s important to develop a new set of beliefs about yourself, your responsibilities, and the way life should work:
- Accept your limitations.
Newsflash: You’re human, and humans have limitations – physical, emotional and mental. We’re not omniscient – knowing all things – and we’re not omnipresent – able to be everywhere at once. We may try to act like Superman or Wonder Woman, but that’s not our title or job description. In fact, our creator has structured our lives with limitations to teach us humility and wisdom. We’re humbled when we recognize our limitations, and we’re wise when we choose what’s important. There are also time limitations. No matter how many time management seminars you go to, you’re never going to have more than 24 hours in a day. It’s a limit … and you have to sleep part of that time. If you just keep cramming your life full of more and more of everything, sooner or later, you’ll crash. Count on it. It’s guaranteed.
- Expect to have problems.
I’m all for planning and preparing for contingencies. But I’ve had to accept that curveballs are a normal part of life. If your expectations are too high, you’re setting yourself up for big disappointments. As the old saying goes, “Hope for the best but plan for the worst, and settle for anything in between.”
- Put space in your calendar.
Other people aren’t going to make room in your schedule for thinking, relaxing and recharging. If it’s going to be there, you have to make it happen. It’s admirable to be known as a diligent worker and someone who’s committed to the company, but when it makes us on-edge all the time, and negatively affects our marriage and family, it’s time to make some adjustments. We don’t get bonus points for working ourselves to death. It’s not admirable to be a hero at work and a zero at home. There’s a better way to live. Carve out empty space and enjoy it.
- Prune your schedule.
When gardeners prune, they don’t just cut off deadwood. They cut off living branches that are very fruitful. In your pruning, you’re going to have to cut out some activities that are still productive. You have to cut them off because you’re in a new season that promises new, abundant growth, but only if you have the wisdom and courage to prune. Our choices usually aren’t between good things and bad things but between good things and better things. A good thing can become a bad thing if it keeps you from the best thing. This means we have to prune a lot that we consider “good.”
