Given the chance, any ant will cheerfully skitter up the pants of any Floridian. It has been written. So it was probably only a matter of time before they scurried their way into my column.   On walks around our fair city, I’ve become somewhat inoculated to Floridian ants’ sophisticated feats of engineering. I tend to forget that beneath what looks like puffy mud-balls … [Read more...]

People think I’m eventually going to run out of quirky things to write about life in Florida. I’m not even close. Not while I can think of things like oranges.  Oh, the humanity! The maledictions oranges secret behind their smug, face-puckering peels sends shudders down my rind. As kids, how many times did our mothers tell us to quit whining and just eat our orange … [Read more...]

Mowing grass. I really don’t get the point. Well, I get a lot of little green ones, ha. But I really hate cutting them.  My hunch is that lawn servitude evolved over time. A cavewoman thought, Oh, clearings are so lovely. What if I gathered a swath of these delectable little plants and rooted them in front of my cave?  She tell husband, “Grunt, grunt, yowl.”  Husband … [Read more...]