The topic of chores comes up a lot in my home. Maybe it’s because of the confines of COVID-19, but my astute wife has noted that I could comfortably live in a pig-sty. When she does, I remind her it could be worse; we could be stuck outside, where if the sun doesn’t get you, a gator, snake, or reckless driver will. Then, buzzards will pick at your bones. My wife sides with the … [Read more...]

If you want to write something funny, it’s a good idea to think of something painful. Summer vacation sounds good. I’m on one. I can hear all my cute little nephews and nieces playing a game downstairs that sounds like a not-pleasant scene from Lord of the Flies.  We decided this year that instead of going somewhere cool and refreshing, we’d go to the beach. At least … [Read more...]

I don’t believe I’ll ever run out of material for this column because if I ever need to reach for something to write about, I can reach, with trembling hands, into the bag of perilous terror of living in Central Florida. Today, I pull out a very real scene of me, on my front lawn, watching a snake slide out of our drainage grating. My wife’s already assured me it’s a black … [Read more...]

If you’ve been reading “Sunny Side Up” for any time now, you’ll know that I do my best to never complain about life in Central Florida. I despise writers who waste perfectly good real-estate in our papers by stooping to mindless rants. They’re lazy writers who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a good word. So, on an extremely positive note, I thought that I’d … [Read more...]

This morning, I’m trying to shake a nightmare containing a 20-foot alligator, some wobbly docks, and a whole lot of not being able to run. I blame last night’s movie: Jumanji. Usually, with the morning comes relief, but as I peek out the window, my backyard looks exactly like … you guessed it, Jumanji. My home, like most in Central Florida I suppose, serves as a … [Read more...]