It’s weed season, people! I’ve been looking forward to writing about this all year. Wait, my wife says weed season doesn’t exist. Well then, honey, why do I have a trillion seeds cleaving to my socks?! She tells me that means we’re in the dry season and dead weeds have gone to seed. Good. Seeds are the reason I’ve been looking forward to weed season. I want to have a … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Mornings
There are times when I hate Florida. Namely, morning time. While another place, like Seattle, Washington, has the decency to wake you with respect, with its soft, cloudy light gently filtering into your room, Florida clashes its symbols by spewing sunlight to crash through your blinds to slash at your puffy eyelids. Florida days scream, “We’re morning … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Not Writing About Roadkill
If you’re a regular reader of Nonahood News and, in particular, the best part – my insanely humorous column – then, I bet you’ve been wondering how I come up with such ingenious topics month in and month out. I mean, we live in Florida, right? When am I going to run out of material? I’m beginning to suspect never. When I think I’m scraping the bottom of the swamp … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: The Real Florida Man, Part Two
I think Florida Man gets a bad rap. Mostly from weirdos. If a “Florida man eats racoon raw” or a “Florida man marries alligator,” isn’t he simply a creep? What about the rest of us normal Florida men? I’ve explored this idea before, but I feel that there’s more ant-riddled ground to cover. So, here are some headlines that real news should be relaying: Florida Man greets … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Back to School
It’s back-to-school season. Yay. Our poor young people. One day, when their children whine about walking to school, today’s youth will be ready. They will speak of 105-degree walks in the middle of worldwide super-viruses. They will speak of sanitizers, masks and temperature checks whilst trying not to shrivel into a pile of dust. And when their children ask them what … [Read more...]
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