Did you know we live in a directionless vacuum? When I was new to Orlando, a friend tried to draw out how the highways and streets worked. Oh, the futility. How can highways labeled north and south go east and west as well? But it’s not just the highways that make no sense around here. I was down in St. Cloud recently, and the streets are named after states. I was like, I … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Valedictorian Famous Floridian Inlet
I just found out that my nephew is his class’ valedictorian. And while l’m already getting bumper stickers made that say, “Proud Uncle of a Valedictorian,” I also heard that he’s dreading giving his speech. This fear is not peculiar to valedictorians, but I’d hazard that most of us don’t like giving speeches, particularly in front of our peers, and especially if said peers … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Soccer Dad
I’m a soccer dad. I drive a minivan junked up with athletic tape, fast-food wrappers, whining teenagers, and the occasional lizard (no joke). I thought playing a sport like soccer in the unnatural heat of Florida would be a deterrent to sane people. Apparently not. When I first got the bill for how much I’d pay for my children to play, I thought I’d lose my mind. Now … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: Putt-Putt
To live anywhere in Florida is to live within a one-mile radius of a putt-putt golf course. No matter how much you hate golf and all of its associates, at some point you’ll have to play putt-putt or goony golf (named after a flock of goonies who landed on a course, attacked, and flew off with two 13-year-old boys who were flapping their arms and squawking like idiots). And, if … [Read more...]
Sunny Side Up: National Face Your Fears Day
Our nation celebrated National Face Your Fears Day last week. Well, we were supposed to. I would have if I had wanted to. But I didn’t because this is the most ridiculous national day ever. It reminds me of a friend who once told me that he loves doing things he doesn’t want to do because it grows his discipline. I pointed out that if he loves doing those things, he … [Read more...]