Everyone’s got problems. The poor, the rich, the single and the married. If you’ve got a job, you’ve got problems. If you don’t have a job, you’ve got problems. If you have kids, you’ve got problems, and if you don’t, you’ve got problems. There is no escaping it. It really seems like the only option we have is to find a way to be happy while dealing with all our issues. Otherwise, we are just waiting to be problem-free before we can be happy, and that can mean missing out on a lot of good moments.

The argument I hear most when someone is encouraged to rise above the issues is, “I can’t help how I feel,” and that’s absolutely true. However, you can help how you react to how you feel. You have the choice to let how you feel beat you into not seeing anything but the issues you have, or the choice to focus on happier, healthier things while your problems come and go. By realizing you have a choice, you gain some control over your life. You decide if your story is of a person who always complains about their life and uses issues as a scapegoat for failures, or a person who seems to be in a healthy mental state despite their issues! The second person sounds like a strong, inspiring person to me, and don’t you want to be that person? If you have to commit to a version of yourself, commit to one that isn’t miserable.

Besides real medical issues or chemical imbalances in the brain, if you are otherwise healthy, then you have control and you have a choice of who you are at the worst of times. If you decide to be miserable, then that’s on you because there is always someone or something to blame. At the end of the day, you need to ask yourself what kind of person are you: Are you weak or are you strong? Are you behaving in a way that empowers you or holds you back? Are you committed to finding a way to be content and at peace regardless of where you might be on your personal emotional rollercoaster called life?

If you are anything like me, you have a reel of the most embarrassing moments in your life along with all the missed opportunities … all of the “I can’t believe I did that” and “I can’t believe I said that” moments perfectly directed in one miserable film that poisons your body and brings you down. This is one self-sabotaging habit that needs to be kicked to the curb. The past doesn’t exist anymore, and neither should these thoughts.

At the worst of times, try to remember that you were born with an abundance of strength within – it is just a matter of tapping into that and harnessing it to control all the negative thoughts and to help you focus on all the blessings in your life. There are so many things in life that will work against you, challenge you, and drive you up the wall. Don’t be yet another thing in your life that you need to overcome.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King, Jr.