How To Deal With The “Cra-Cra” In Your Life This Christmas
One of my favorite Christmas movies to watch during the holidays is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation with Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) and his love/hate relationship with his cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid). Not only is this movie hilarious, but it also serves as a reminder of how the holidays can be a challenge when so many different and difficult personalities come together at one time.
For some of you, you will have to face…
- An ex-husband/wife who will create conflict as to who gets to spend more time with the kids this Christmas.
- Some will have to face the awkwardness of accommodating your parents who are separated or recently divorced and you are forced to deal with all the little games of guilt and manipulation that will create uncomfortable moments for everyone.
- Some will have to face the unpredictable behavior of a rebellious son or daughter who may or may not come home for Christmas.
- Others will be on pins and needles due to the unpredictable behavior of an alcoholic mom/dad or drug-addicted family member.
- For some of you, you might have that obnoxious sister-in-law or outrageous “cousin Eddie” who serves as the thorn in your side, or what I call your “heavenly sandpaper.”
The point is that we all have difficult people and personalities in our lives that can turn Christmas into Chaos. The question is, how do you deal with those difficult people in order to make the most of your Christmas holiday?
Here are three things to remember and apply:
- Realize That You Can’t Please Everyone
There are some people who are impossible to please. No matter what you do, it’s never good enough for them. Make a commitment now that no matter what, you will not fall into the emotional trap of trying to please everyone. Remain positive and set boundaries so that you don’t allow others to rob you of your joy this Christmas. Remember, others can’t make you feel inferior without your permission.
- Refuse to Argue
There are some people who love to argue. It’s their way of getting attention. They know how to push all the right buttons to get under your skin. When they draw you into an argument by the things they say, they know they are controlling you. Refuse to argue, don’t stoop down to their level and play their game. The best thing you can do is take the high road. Remember, meekness is not weakness; it is strength under control.
- 3. Respond With Love
No matter how mean-spirited, insensitive or dysfunctional the difficult person in your life is, we should still respond to them with love. It’s easy to love people who are easy to get along with. However, if we’re going to demonstrate “peace on earth and good will toward others” this holiday season, then the real tests will come when we find ourselves being around some rude, insensitive and unlovely people.
How can we respond with love to people who are difficult to get along with? Practice the golden rule: “Do for others what you want them to do for you.” Instead of reacting to everyone else, be proactive in the following ways…
Find ways to…
- Encourage – There is no greater exercise for strengthening the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
- Appreciate – Take the initiative in the first 30 seconds of the conversation to say something that affirms that person and makes them feel appreciated.
- Forgive – Life is too short to hold on to offenses. The reason why we should forgive is that, at some point, we will need someone to forgive us and overlook our faults and mistakes.
- Listen – There is a difference between “hearing” people and “listening” to them. Listening is wanting to hear. Remember, a deaf ear is the first sign of a closed mind.
- Understand – Author and speaker John Maxwell says, “We should seek to understand before being understood.” The six most important words to focus on this Christmas when with those you will be around should be, “I want to know you better.”
As you prepare for this holiday season, think of that one person in your life who you’re having a difficult time getting along with and ask yourself these three questions:
- What is my normal way of dealing with that person?
- Is it working?
- Is it reducing the stress in your life and bringing about positive change in your relationship?
Remember, we can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control what happens in us.
Rodney Gage is an author, speaker and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church that meets at Lake Nona High School. His passion is to help people live life on purpose. To learn more, check out rethinklife.com.
