Hubby and I really do not have that much in common. I mean, we share the same values, which is HUGE, but as far as hobbies and interests … not so much. He is a health nut and can spend hours at the gym or read up on supplements and healthy food alternatives, while I can spend hours reading the back of the Ben & Jerry’s containers (only after I have eaten what is inside first, of course). He enjoys watching wrestling and sci-fi movies; I enjoy watching romcoms and the occasional Hallmark Christmas movie in July.

The list of how we differ is longer than Santa’s naughty or nice list, yet we have been together happily for 25 years now, married for 21 of those. What we have learned along the way is that sharing common interests isn’t important, but being interested in your partner is. For this exact reason, Hubby and I recently spent a date night making deco mesh wreaths.

If you follow my other column, Mama’s Turn, you already know that I took up the hobby of making wreaths recently. In a time of uncertainty, sitting down and creating something out of basically nothing was very calming to me. Perhaps too calming because I made so many wreaths that Hubby said we either needed to move to a bigger home with more doors to hang them on or I needed to open an Etsy store. Since I love living here in Lake Nona, I opened the shop. What started as just a creative outlet to pass the days of quarantine has turned into a profitable small business for me.

But as with any small business, it takes a lot of extra time to get things going – which is why when Hubby excitedly announced that he had a midweek day off from work and wanted to spend it with me, I half-jokingly suggested that instead of going out, we stay in, and I teach him how to make wreaths so he could help me with my backorders. To which, my hubby gladly agreed to do. (Have I mentioned what a good hubby I have?)

I currently have been making my wreaths at a table in our living room. While Hubby has often been in the same room as me, he really has not taken much interest in it, which is fine because it’s my hobby/business … not his. I mean, he has been totally supportive and hasn’t even complained about the glitter that now covers every inch of our home. … Okay, he did once gripe when he found it in a pair of his underwear, but I don’t blame him on that one. The point I am trying to make is that while he has never stopped me from pursuing my new passion, he wasn’t really taking an interest in it, either. 

But he truly embraced the activity, and seeing him do something that I know really wasn’t his thing was endearing and made me feel loved. From the outside, it may have just looked like we were rolling mesh and wrapping pipe cleaners, but it was much more than that. Sure, I have told him all about the process and how I do it, but until that moment, he never was able to experience it. He shared that before he sat down to try it, he really didn’t think it was that hard to make a wreath. But his sore hands the next day proved just how wrong he was. Even more than that, he got to see me in my element and was therefore able to gain greater insight into who I really am as a person.

Relationships are about sacrifices and compromises; therefore, so are date nights. Sure, it can be hard if you genuinely have no interest in your spouse’s hobbies, and I am certainly not suggesting that you need to do everything together! GOD, NO! But finding a happy medium that allows you to recognize your partner’s passions really is worth trying. Or you can even try combining your two hobbies together! Maybe next we will try watching AEW Dynamite while making a wrestling-themed wreath!