Star Wars – the last Star Wars movie I’m going to see. Star Wars: The last Jedi WAS AWESOME.

I feel like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I can’t make up my mind. I love it. I hate it. There is no inbetween. Also, there are no spoilers here.  But let’s be honest, by the time this review is published, if you haven’t already seen the movie, you’re probably not worried about spoilers.

The writing is great, but also the writing sucks. There is a moment that makes absolutely no sense, but at the same time it does.

Don’t complain about the comedy moments in this, Star Wars has always had comedy moments in it – it wasn’t something the Marvel cinematic universe started. It’s something George Lucas and Star Wars started and even spills over a little bit into Indiana Jones.

This is a movie where you think it’s so predictable, but it isn’t, but then it is, but for a different reason. How do I write a review about a movie where I can’t explain scenes in detail because you’re too lazy to go see it. The fighting sequences are some of the best fighting sequences within Star Wars, but they aren’t the fighting sequences that you would expect.

With one last movie in this final trilogy, there is a last hope in J.J. Abrams to make it the best one yet because I still cannot make up my mind on Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

This movie gets a seven Goldblum out of a possible 10 Goldblums. But if you are really looking for that movie you should see this holiday season, go online and download a movie called The Room. It is the worst movie ever made, but it is so fantastically bad, it is awesome.  And then go watch James Franco and Seth Rogen’s baby, The Disaster Artist. Honestly, if this movie does not win an Oscar, I don’t understand movies.

Sorry, Obi-Wan Kenobi! Just like you, I’m split in half. If you’re reading this and don’t understand that joke, then I’m going to spoil Star Wars for you after all.

Everyone is dead.