One of the fondest memories I have of my mother was the time when she met me for a weekend getaway in New York. Mother’s Day was approaching, and I told her I wanted to take her to the Big Apple to see the places she grew up as a kid and just enjoy time with her alone. To my surprise, my conservative homebody mama agreed. And so, I boarded a flight in Houston, she in Miami, we met up at LaGuardia Airport and our adventure began.
The image of her sitting across from me at Tavern on the Green sipping corn chowder, flirting with the waiter, her New York accent she had managed to hide for so long coming out, and her looking young and more alive than I ever had seen, is still vivid in my memory. For the first time ever, I saw her as just a woman and not just my mom.
We swore we would do a trip like this again, but then I got married, had kids, and she got ill and somehow another special mother-daughter trip just never happened. It is one of my biggest regrets now that she is no longer with us.
Fast forward 26 years. My 16-year-old daughter sits across from me at Black Tap in Midtown New York with a huge Brooklyn Blackout Milkshake between us. We take turns scooping into the frosted-rim glass covered in mini chocolate chips topped with two chocolate brownies, whipped cream, and chocolate drizzle. We both are in a sugar coma and could easily head back to the hotel room to take a nap, but instead we excitedly walk hand-in-hand down 7th Avenue on our way to the Walter Kerr Theatre to see Hadestown. We take the obligatory selfie holding up the playbill and then settle in, ready to travel way down to the underworld.
Later that evening, we sit cuddled in bed together still talking about the work of art we just saw. She talks to me as if I am her equal, and I talk to her as if she is mine. Finally realizing how late it has gotten, I tell her we should get to sleep so we can get up early to do something before the matinee show we have tickets to see. To which my girl responds, “We don’t really have to do anything. We can just relax and hang out together.” I smile, not wanting to let on just how much those words really mean to me.
I have written an article already about how important travel can be for our kids, but I never mentioned what a simple getaway with your offspring can do for you. My daughter has told me that when we go away together, I am a different person. I am still me; it is just she sees me as SHARON and not Mom. Suddenly, I am a real human being and not just someone who nags her about doing her homework.
Be it swimming with dolphins in the Caribbean, going from place to place to find the World’s Best Cheesecake, or sitting in a theatre watching a Broadway show, these little adventures with my girl are a way for me to step away from my responsibilities, let my hair down, and create lasting memories with my daughter. These trips have become our middle ground, a safe place to just be ourselves and learn more about each other.
She took her seat on the plane next to me and handed me one of her earbuds. “Let’s watch the movie together,” she said to me. I popped the bud into my ear and offered her a Twizzler from the pack I had snuck into my purse. She shook her head, and we both laughed. This trip I realize was so much more than just a mom and daughter vacation; to me, it is a beginning to creating the greatest friendship that I hope will grow through all the milestones of her life.
Sharon Fuentes is an award-winning freelance writer, special needs parenting advisor and the author of the book, The Don’t Freak Out Guide to Parenting Kids with Asperger’s. You can reach her at [email protected].
