It is very common in my seminars and coaching sessions to hear people asking me if they can really change.

In a way, we can see that we are not the same person we were years back, but in other ways, we think we are intrinsically the same because there is something about our behavior, our personality or our character that is holding us back. We try hard to change, experience some progress, but for some reason, we find ourselves coming back to our “old being.”

Some people take this as a challenge and try harder. Others, sadly, arrive to the conclusion that “I can’t change.” This does not surprise me as much as the ability we have developed to have a frozen image of ourselves like if we were objects.

We are human beings!

You are in a constant state of “becoming,” of “being,” of “transforming.” 

Your body is changing:

The lining in your stomach and intestines regenerates every two to nine days. The outer layer of your skin regenerates itself every two to four weeks. More than 40 million blood cells have been born in your body since you started reading this article!

Your values are changing:

Have some of your values changed over time? Do you have things that you used to “die for” and now wonder why on earth that was ever so valuable to you?

Your beliefs are changing:

Think about some of the beliefs you used to have when you were a child. Have they changed? How about when you were a teenager? (Unless you still are.) And now, what are your beliefs about relationships, the economy, about you and your potential? Have they changed over time?

Things have changed, haven’t they? Then the question is not if you CAN change, the question would be in which direction you are changing! You can change in the direction of reaching your goals or in the direction of living below your potential.

If you think you cannot change, it’s because through your thoughts, your feelings and old habits, you might be keeping the illusion that you cannot.

“Okay, got it. But change is hard, Edward.”

Well, it depends on what you want to change and why. Having worked with thousands of people in many countries and different cultures, I have seen fast change and I have seen slow change, but unconsciously we make it harder in many ways. Here you have a few examples:

• We don’t look beyond our present circumstances when considering to change.
• We associate more pain to changing than the pleasure and benefits of having changed.
• We don’t have a consistent strategy of integrating the change into our daily lives.
• We confuse deeply ingrained habits with “the way we are.”  

Is there anything you would like to change? Consider the following:

1. Why would you like to change that?  
2. What would changing give you that otherwise you would not have?
3. What is the worst thing that could happen if you don’t change?
4. What is the best thing that will happen when you change?
5. Why should you start taking action right now?
6. What specific small actions are you going to take daily to integrate this change in your life?

I hope your answers will give you new perspective about proactive change and how to incorporate it in your life. 

Remember, you are not your values, you are not your beliefs, you are not your habits. You adopted them through life. That presupposes you can create new ones that empower you, that motivate you, that propel you to new heights of achievement in your personal and professional lives.

I once heard that if you want to do something you have never done, you have to become someone you have never been. You do that by conscious, proactive change in the direction of your goals and dreams. There is no worthy goal that is reached without becoming someone you were not when you started.

John Maxwell said, “Change is inevitable, but growth is optional.” Proactive change produces growth, and the only constant in life is change. You are the ultimate expression of life!