How easy would it be for you to go a full 24 hours without complaining? At first glance, it really does not seem like that much time. But once we actually try to put it into practice, it becomes painfully obvious how much of our time we waste complaining.
I am embarrassed to admit that I still have not been able to complete this challenge successfully. Having the intention to not complain has definitely helped to curb the need for obvious lamenting. We can all agree that some complaints seem valid and understandable. But, boy, do we love to grumble about an endless list of minor and silly things! Most of us have grown accustomed to nitpicking and talking about how things are not going the way we would want them to.
When we choose to complain, we choose to shift our focus from what is going right to what is going wrong. We stray from the present moment to instead “fantasize” about how we think things “should be.” Let’s call a spade a spade. Complaining is nothing but a focus on the negative. What is complaining, really, if not to find fault and mope over what you don’t like?
Furthermore, the ugliest side of complaining is that no amount of it ever changed anything. The only thing we accomplish with every gripe is to bring our spirits down and shift our energy into negative. Thankfully, we have the amazing ability to transform our attitudes and actions. With intention and an open heart, we can create positive habits that enable us to have more optimistic outlooks, have richer lives, and nurture our happiness. We can start by eliminating our need to complain or, at the very least, reducing it significantly.
In reality, things don’t always go well, and there are many instances when change is absolutely necessary. Yet, we can only accomplish transformation by taking positive, informed action. In no way does complaining result in evolution. If there are things or situations that we legitimately feel need adjustment, the best way to move forward is to: a) fully understand the need, and b) take action to affect positive change. This can be achieved only when we cultivate presence, contemplation and mindfulness.
Choosing to get off the complaining bandwagon doesn’t mean pretending everything is always rosy or ignoring when things go wrong. Rather, the next time you feel the urge to complain, take the same approach as we use with thoughts during meditation. Notice your resistance and your dislike. “Ah, yes. There you are.” But instead of following or holding on to it and letting it become a rant session, just gently let it go. Become present. Notice what is truly in front of you and try to reframe.
Imagine you’re drinking a tall glass of cool water and suddenly notice something in the water. Complaining or protesting about it does nothing to solve the problem. All it can accomplish is to get you in a bad mood, while the object sits in your cup and you’re not getting a drop to drink. What if instead you notice whatever is in the water, acknowledge it and get a new cup? Simple, right? Same situation, different approach.
We often go to great lengths to remove anything from our diets and homes that isn’t healthy or harms us. Why don’t we step up and take the same care with our approach to life? Let’s all go on a complaining detox. Will you commit to spending just 24 hours without complaining?
