Q: “If you and your date/significant other cannot agree on a movie or a restaurant, what is a good way to compromise?” – Pinky
A: Given that you guys have probably (hopefully) learned each other’s style – tastes, preferences, the way they argue – you can try to come to a happy medium. You might try flipping a coin or saying, “We can do your choice this time and mine next time.” There’s always the route of finding a third option that pleases you both. Don’t let this debate get heated as it can be easy to do; fortunately, picking what to watch or where to eat is not typically a life-or-death situation. Would you rather make your partner happy or satisfy your own particular craving? Weigh the rewards of each and see if you still want to keep pushing your option. Things more trivial than this start fights all the time – try not to make this one into that, too! Either leave it to chance, negotiate, or … surrender.
Q: “What is the best way to stay on task and stay organized?” – Ike
A: I will always, always, always recommend making a list. Take inventory of what you need to get done; write it down somewhere you will see often. What is more important to you: quantity or quality? Rank your tasks in order of importance, if you have deadlines. If it helps you stay on top of your list, break up your important tasks with shorter ones. Incentivize yourself: Say to yourself that you can have a nap or a brownie once you finish this item. Use whatever reward might work for you and really try to only let yourself have that treat once you’ve completely finished. If you’re really overwhelmed by all of the things you have to do, just take it one at a time. You have no idea how satisfying it is to cross something off your to-do list. Let that fuel you to move on to the next item. Something that helps me is taking a short break in between tasks; for instance, between each, I’ll take a short walk, take a bath, go for a run, or watch a short episode of my latest binger (which, at the moment, is Aunty Donna’s Big Ol’ House of Fun on Netflix). Make your surroundings one of comfort and focus. I like to light a candle, put on some weird, old monk-esque music, and hunker down with my laptop (which is exactly what I am doing while writing this). Whatever helps you to be calm and concentrated will do. Keep your list in front of you so that you can remember what needs to be done, and cross off each as you get to it. Planners, phone calendars, and various organization apps will achieve the same effect.
Q: “I don’t know what to do with my life, and it feels sort of like an early-life crisis. How can I plan my career and my future?” – Toby
A: I mentioned last month something about trying to retain your gut feeling. If you think about your passions and catalogue them, you can trace them to something that will make you happy. Research, research, research. Ask people around you if they know of opportunities to put your interests to use; for all you know, they have a sister who has a boyfriend who has an uncle that’s actually doing your dream job right now. Use your resources and spend some time looking up odds and ends of careers that utilize what you already like to do. Once you find something that feels fascinating and right, find someone in that field to interview. The internet will tell you that every job under the sun requires a degree or some type of experience, but you won’t know the reality of it until you meet the pro in real life. See how they got to where they are, what their daily life entails, and what kind of opportunities there are for payment, locations and growth. Think, down to your core, about what you are good at and what makes you happy. How far are you willing to take your education, if necessary? Would you be okay with relocation? Analyze your strengths, weaknesses, and fascinations, and search for a job along those specifications. Then, investigate.
