Have you ever tried to get out of a cell phone contract? On average, it will cost you $350 to walk away from your contract. If you walk away from your mortgage agreement with your bank, it will cost you seven years on your credit report.
Here’s what’s crazy! You can surf the internet and find online legal advertisements promoting quick, easy and hassle-free divorce options to walk away from your spouse for as low as $99. However, the truth is … it will cost you a LOT more than that. Ask anyone who has gone through the pain of divorce, and they will be quick to tell you that divorce is anything but quick, easy and inexpensive. There is a high cost of breaking your commitment to your spouse.
Unfortunately, our culture today seems to promote and reinforce the notion that life should be hassle-free with no long-term obligations or commitments to anything or anyone. When it comes to commitment, it’s as though it doesn’t exist anymore. Sadly, I think we have forgotten what the word commitment means.
Webster Dictionary defines the word commitment as follows: The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. A pledge or undertaking. An engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
Synonyms:
dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, bond, adherence, attentiveness, vow, promise, pledge, oath; covenant, contract, pact, deal, undertaking; decision, resolution, resolve; guarantee, assurance, affirmation, etc.
Antonyms:
disloyalty, faithlessness, falseness, falsity, inconstancy, infidelity, perfidiousness, perfidy, treachery, unfaithfulness
Why am I giving you these definitions? Because commitment is a lost virtue in our society.
There are many reasons why people fear commitment, and there are many reasons why commitment matters in our lives, careers, and especially in our relationships. However, I want to share three main reasons why commitment is so important in our marriages and in helping to teach our children.
Our Commitments…
- Reveal Our Values.
What you commit your life to – your time, your money, your relationships – reveals what you value or what is most important to you. It is easy to say what is important to us and what we value in life. However, there is usually a gap between what we say is important and what our calendars, commitments, and bank accounts reveal. In other words, there is a gap between our priorities and commitments.
Our spouse and children need to see, hear, and experience our commitment and devotion to each other on a consistent basis. No one wants to be married to someone who is half-hearted in their love and devotion or commitment. Our children don’t want parents who are disengaged or are never there for them. There is no such thing as love without commitment. Love is a decision we make, not an emotion we feel.
Men: The greatest thing you can do for your kids is to love your wife.
Women: The greatest thing you can do for your kids is to love your husband.
2. Shape Our Lives.
We become what we’re committed to. Whatever is most important to us is what will shape our lives.
It’s easy to be committed when everything is going great, but what about our commitment to our spouse and kids when things aren’t going great? I’m not advocating staying in an abusive situation or putting your life or your children in a dangerous situation. I’m talking about weathering the storms of life together. Those storms can make us bitter or better. They will draw us closer or cause us to drift further apart. It’s honoring the “for better or worse” part of our vows when we got married. How we handle life’s storms and challenges shapes our character and makes us stronger and wiser.
3. Determine Our Future.
The average person will get approximately 25,550 days to live their life. Every day when we wake up, we are exchanging our life for something. When we make commitments, we’re choosing how we’re going to invest our lives. We have to remind ourselves that every choice has a consequence. It may be small and seem insignificant at first, but over the course of time and in the grand scheme of things, they all add up to influence our destiny. In the end, our commitments reinforce what we value, and it communicates what is most important to us as a family … each other. That is the power of commitment.
Rodney Gage is a family coach, author, speaker, and the founding pastor of ReThink Life Church that meets at Lake Nona High School. His passion is to help families stop drifting from each other and shift toward living with greater intention. To learn more, check out familyshift.com and rethinklife.com.
