The recent unjust deaths of black Americans have sparked outrage in our country. Many have taken to the streets to protest, and the endless media coverage has caused many of us to ask questions about how we can successfully root out racism in our society. Topics like racism can be difficult conversations to have with our children. However, it is the best and most important place to start in the fight to root out racism. Below is a framework you can use to guide your conversation within your own family.

R – Reestablish Everyone Is Created Equal.

There is no race, culture, or skin color that is better or more important than another. We are all created equal. Race was God’s idea. He loves variety and diversity. If God didn’t love diversity, then he would have created everyone the same. We don’t choose our race; we don’t choose who our parents are going to be; we don’t choose how or when or where we are born. We don’t choose our background or culture. God decided who He wanted us to be. We are all members of the human race.

A – Affirm Racism Is Wrong.

The word partiality is an old English word for “prejudice.” Partiality is when someone treats one group better or more important than another. Anytime we put labels or stereotypes or use bias toward one group over the other, we are devaluing and dishonoring someone else’s dignity. As we work to root out racism once and for all, our children need to know the importance of treating everyone equally.

C – Confess Any Bias Toward Those Different From You.

There are many attitudes and beliefs that people hold onto and may not even be aware of. For example;

• Racist: Someone who hates or discriminates against another race. Racism is an expression of pride, arrogance, and hate.
  
• Bigot: Someone who believes stereotypes and belittles another race. They often use inappropriate and offensive language or make jokes about a particular race or gender.
  
• Avoider: Someone who might say they’re not a “racist” or a “bigot.” They feel uncomfortable being around someone different than them. Therefore, they try to avoid others who are different altogether.
  
• Insensitive: Someone who is just insensitive to what hurts or offends others. The truth is, we don’t get to decide what is hurtful to someone else.
  
• Apathetic: Someone who says, “I just don’t care about this whole race thing!”

Our goal as parents is to help our kids understand the different attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that are common in our society. Encourage them to identify and confess if they have been guilty of these attitudes and behaviors or if they have seen or heard others display these attitudes and behaviors. Why is this so important? Because it helps us reinforce the first two points. We need to confront racism head-on with our kids and help them know that the only solution to rooting it out altogether is to become reconcilers and bridge builders.

• Reconciler: Someone who is a bridge-builder. Someone who is actively building bridges between races and cultural differences.

I – Initiate Conversations With Those Different From You.

One of Stephen Covey’s “habits” from his book The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People is to “seek to understand before being understood.” When you think about it, showing partiality or prejudice is a failure to listen to those different than you. We are actually “pre-judging” someone else before even having an opportunity to get to know their background or story. When we initiate conversations, we put ourselves in a position to walk in someone else’s shoes, see what they see, and feel what they feel. This is why it is so important to have diversity in our friendships so that we can have rich, meaningful and intentional friendships with everyone. Like the old phrase says, “The best way to have friends is by first being a friend to others.”

S – Speak Up for Those Whose Dignity Is Under Attack. 

Bullying is a significant problem in our schools today. Whether it’s on the playground, hallways at school, or through social media, many kids are attacked and abused verbally, emotionally, and physically by others. Fear, intimidation, and control is the primary goal of a bully and racist. The only way we can root out racism and expose the ugly crime is to speak up and speak out. Helping our kids learn the importance of speaking up when they see or hear something to their parents, coaches, or teachers is crucial to stopping the injustice in our schools and our society.

M – Make Unity and Diversity Your Highest Priority in Friendships.

Why is this so important? Perspective. There is unity in community. When we learn to do life with one another, our homes can become the most significant laboratory for learning how to love. We can’t model love by ourselves. We need other people to model and to show love toward if we’re going to learn how to love. As the late Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”