Very early in my career, I was lucky enough to work at a great place and for a great boss.  She was generous in every respect. And I learned a lot from her. She was generous with travel perks and bonuses, even lavish holiday parties and free catered lunches. When we would travel, we would stay at the finest hotels and eat at the best restaurants…all paid for by the boss. It seemed that there was money to spend, and she was going to spend it in style.

Then, on one business trip to Miami, my cell phone died and I forgot my charger. I was in my room and I had to get on a call, so I picked up the phone and dialed into a meeting. It must have been a 10- or 20-minute call or so.

I thought nothing more of it.

A few weeks after we got back, my boss stormed into a meeting and was very upset. Apparently my 20-minute phone call cost $80, and it infuriated her. She went on and on about how irresponsible this was, and she made me promise to never, ever do it again.  EVER. Out loud. I had to promise her out loud. In front of people. She made it THAT clear.

At first, I was livid. I had no idea why this would be such a big deal. It wasn’t the lavish three-star meals or the five-star hotels. Sure, it was an expensive phone call, but we had spent so much more on other things. It took me years to understand why.

You see, everyone has a trigger issue. Something that makes them tick. It’s easy to dismiss her tick as “crazy” or unreasonable, but I wonder how many things we do that others see as “crazy” or unreasonable?

The thing is that we all have these ticks. To be upset about one person’s tick is to not accept or admit that you have these ticks, too. They’re just different.  

We are quick to judge people on their flaws because it is so much easier than admitting our own. It’s the husband that won’t put the seat down. It’s the roommate that never takes out the trash. It’s the guy who cuts you off and speeds ahead. It’s the business partner that thinks about what they’re going to say instead of listening.

The lesson I learned was far greater than to never use the landline at a hotel. Sometimes, there is a reason that would make someone behave like this. And sometimes not. But tolerance will always go a long way in these situations because sometimes you just don’t know what triggers a tick. However, you will always have a choice on how to react.