Dear Children,
Let me first start off by saying, “I am sorry!” I am sorry for forgetting sometimes that while you may look like adults, you are still far from being men and women. While you have many moments of maturity, I forget that those are the exceptions, not the norms. Your teenage brains are still developing, and you are still trying to figure out who you are and where your place in this giant world is, and all the unknowns can be frustrating and downright scary at times.
The thing is, believe it or not, I too was young once and went through the exact same thing with my parents. Sure, times were different back then, but the confusion and anxiety you are feeling about having to grow up and be responsible people – I felt them, too. Heck, I still am feeling them. So, I truly am sorry for not remembering this and not being more patient and understanding.
All that said, I need to remind you both of something. While I love laughing and joking around with you, I am not here to be your friend. I am your mom. My job is to guide you, to offer you unsolicited advice that you will no doubt ignore, and to make sure you have the tools you need to become the best versions of your unique selves as you can be! Before you know it, you will be out there in the real world having to navigate uncharted waters all alone, and I need to make sure you can swim without your floaties on. It’s not an easy job. I don’t want my babies to sink! So, please remember this when I nag you about practicing your strokes or the value of flip turns. It is because I care and want to keep you safe when you are out of my arm’s reach, or I am no longer standing by the pool.
Growing up is hard business, but I am doing the best I can! They did not give me a book of instructions when you were born. So, yes, I admit it, I am winging this. For the most part, I think we are both doing a great job at this growing-up business, too. But as you get older and are faced with more difficult situations, the consequences become much more serious. It is a constant battle for me to figure out when I should step back and let you learn a lesson on your own, and when I should stick my big nose in! And when I do stick my nose in, please know it is nothing personal. It does not mean I do not think you are smart, or capable, or that you are doing a bad job. It just means that there is something I feel I need to point out that perhaps you are not seeing. I will try to do my pointing out in a better way if you promise to be more open to it. It will be hard for both of us, but I think we can do it.
Most of all, I need you both to always remember that I SEE YOU! I mean I truly SEE YOU! I see your courage and compassion. I see how hard you work and how deeply you care. I see the difference you have already made in the world, and I am so excited to see what the future holds for you both.
I know I may not always act like it, but I am your biggest fan, and I am so proud to be your mother! But if you could somehow manage to remember to wash off your dirty plates and put them in the dishwasher, I would be even more proud. Just saying!
XOXOX,
Mom
Sharon Fuentes is an award-winning freelance writer, parenting advisor, author of the book, The Don’t Freak Out Guide to Parenting Kids with Asperger’s, and a mom who is just winging it! You can reach her at sharon@sharonfuentes.com.
